art for an audience
recently, i was thinking out loud on social media (mastodon, bluesky) about art. i’ve been trying to avoid being overly philosophical about art and existing online, because it’s usually more depressing than it is cathartic. but as i’ve been trying to sort through my thoughts and untangle complicated feelings, i think i hit on some concepts that i’d like to share
drawing has been purely for myself lately. a private activity. all deeply personal. right now, i feel more comfortable sharing the photos i take. if i see something that catches my eye, or something that brings me joy, i want to try to share that with others
making art that is just for myself (and potentially trusted allies) has been... Interesting. i like making things without having to worry about "public consumption". it's a breath of fresh air. a weird relief.
which begs the question: what kind of public-facing art do i want to make...?
what kind of art would i want to put in a gallery, and show to strangers? what do i want to share with the world? what do i want to keep close to my chest, and only share with trusted allies?
i'm not sure i have any answers yet. but maybe that's OK.
these questions have been slowly simmering in the back of my mind. every now and then, i give them a stir. tonight, i was flipping through some art i’d drawn recently—both work i’ve posted, and work i’ve kept private—and it got me thinking about a few things.
this is, honestly, one of my favorite pieces i’ve drawn, at least from the past few months. besides the fact that i always love drawing Iris—she is so fun and delightful—i found a new favorite brush from the most recent Procreate update. it’s a rectangular, chalk-y brush called “Achilles”, and it behaves just the way i’d like it to, without having to fuss and adjust too much. it’s taken me a while to adjust to using Procreate on my recently-acquired iPad Pro, but something really clicked with me as soon as i tried out that brush.
i like being able to put down blocks of color, refining the shape and proportions as i go. adding strategically placed details with thinner brushes, while leaving other parts of the image intentionally rough and letting the viewer’s mind fill in the blanks. those kinds of techniques feel the most “natural” to me; i don’t have to think too hard, or contort myself into using techniques that feel backwards to my workflow.
as i was looking at this again, the question “what kind of public-facing art do i want to make...?” popped back up in my mind. i don’t know if i have one specific answer to that, yet.
but, if i had to give an answer right now… i want to show people that art is worth doing. it’s worth creating. i like art that embraces the medium its working in. art that works with technical limitations instead of resenting them, or bearing “imperfect” brushstrokes and pencil marks. art that shows that someone’s love and care and skills went into creating it.
if it isn’t obvious: yes, this answer is partially a response to genAI and the devaluing of artists in the current age. many people have written at length about genAI and the amount of harm it has caused, and while i heartily agree, i’m not interested in preaching to the choir right now.
i’m still trying to figure out what the hell i’m going to do. on a “career” level, and just… in general. it is so easy to feel small, and insignificant, and hopeless. i am just one artist, wrangling with chronic fatigue on a daily basis. but i have to keep going. i have to keep doing what i can to be there for the people i love, and for others in my communities. and because creating is woven into the very fiber of my being, i will keep creating, too.